Broken Loop??!!!

They say the most amazing piece of writing comes out when the writer is sad.
I dont know about the amazing part...

They also say when you need to get rid of some kinda feelings or thoughts about someone else.start looking for the negative things that he has...and try to concentrate on those..
I dont know where do i search for them....

For all I know is the beautifully imperfect you is the one i still long for...knowing very well from the very beginning how this amazingly built imaginary world of mine would crash n break into pieces..I am not trying to pick them up..or put it together again...I have just let them be...I cant see clearly right now...moisture in eyes does that at times...

They say I should move ahead in life...like I did earlier too...
I dont know...I could never find the answer for whatever they say...the circle of 'moving on' never started how do i complete it this time?

The circle that never starts...is it still called a circle?? If not...then where do i stand in this is so called 'circle of life'???!!

Random thoughts!!

Something is not going right somewhere...or is it just my fucked up mind which is trying to overwork!!! or is it simple PMS!!!!
Whatever it is..it is not a good feeling at all...the more i try to be hopeful the more as if some kinda force is trying to break me yet again...
This is the last hope i am left with..and i really dont wanna let it go..Never knew i could be such a hopeful person though!!

All i look forward to is the day when i would laugh on these very thoughts of mine..now, that can be a happy smile or just a smile after you let go of someone whom you loved the most but you knew this would happen..
I would prefer the former reason!!!! :D

Vindictive???me??!!!

oh this sweet sadist satisfaction i get when i see you cry for someone else just cause she did what you had done to me once!!! Am i acting like a bitch out here?? Who cares?? I am happy to see you in this misery ~at times~ and then again I hate her even more for bringing you to such a state of pain. I had loved you once..truely..and had this thought like every other silly girl falling head over heals..tat wont tolerate anyone hurting you.
I am what you and the many more have made out of me..yet I am myself..searching myself in the various shades of colors that you & the many more have painted me with, time and again.The true color is somewhere there but i can only feel..i cant see it anymore.

I am happy that you are sad and in misery today...its not a revenge...i never had to work for revenge..you did it to urself like the others did in their own lives..n your state just confirms my belief..."you reap is what you sow!!!"

the Dukhabara in all of us!!!

The silence around me is getting scary day by day..its like as if i am inside a huge dark tent..and no matter how much i try to light the candle, the still air puts off the light every time!!! Giving up i decide to make my eyes used to the darkness but the thought light eludes me and as a result i neither get accustomed to the darkness nor do i get light enough to keep me sane!! what is sanity anyway?? just a state of mind in one's own thought!!! reminds me of your thought provoking line "everyone is mad as per other's point of view" how freaking true...I wonder how i didnt think about it before? or may be i did..it was just the thought of light which eluded me yet again!! :)