thought of writing something..
and then i forgot...so dropped the idea.....!!!

mirage....

its all like a mirage....as if a huge blank white cloth...n a projector...have seen similar images when i was a kid...the old man who used to come with a huge box with pictures of all wonderful places....
just the only difference is i am living this mirage...
an illusion which is so real..that after a certain point of time...i have created my small little world in it...a world where there is nothing right or wrong...a world where there is no one to judge me...i am who i am...and i am thankful that i have been accepted the way i wanted to be...
it feels like as if i have got a world of knowledge box with me...who feeds me with of loads of food for my thoughts....
the most amazing part of my world is...i play different roles in it..and the other character too...at times he is like this kid who is so innocent..and then there are times when he in his most amazing style makes me understand things about life...

if ever this illusion comes to an end...i know one thing for sure...i will never forget one teaching of my great master/friend/love/child/stranger..... "never get too attached to anyone on this earth...there should always be a little detachment in ever aspects of life and that nothing is right or wrong...we have set the standards...ourselves!!"

"different" unchanged..

the roads....the cars...the people...the language....the faces....known...unknown....changes...
the sky has a different colour...the air has a different smell...the trees look different too...

the word "different" remained the only unchanged thing in my life...

i am different....for good or bad....the definitions are different...shaun is different..

"i will b better of than i was before ..i planned this life i'll b around to grow..who i was before i can not become......fear m falling..the lights go out..fear i am fallin i am fallin safely to the ground!!!"

poem by prasoon joshi..

Read this...loved it....tought of sharing it... :)


During our childhood, we all must've written poems and essays stating, 'India is my country and I am very proud of it'. The sad part however is that, today, it seems that we are not doing enough to make our country proud. After all the untimely attack on Mumbai, the Master of words...Mr. Wordsmith himself, Prasoon Joshi, in his way through the free-flowing poetry, leads us from darkness to light. Presented here are the gems from his touching poem:

Is baar nahin

Is baar jab woh choti si bachchi mere paas apni kharonch le kar aayegi
Main usey phoo phoo kar nahin behlaoonga
Panapney doonga uski tees ko
Is baar nahin

Is baar jab main chehron par dard likha dekhoonga
Nahin gaoonga geet peeda bhula dene wale
Dard ko risney doonga,utarney doonga andar gehrey
Is baar nahin

Is baar main na marham lagaoonga
Na hi uthaoonga rui ke phahey
Aur na hi kahoonga ki tum aankein band karlo,gardan udhar kar lo main dawa lagata hoon
Dekhney doonga sabko hum sabko khuley nangey ghaav
Is baar nahin

Is baar jab uljhaney dekhoonga,chatpatahat dekhoonga
Nahin daudoonga uljhee door lapetney
Uljhaney doonga jab tak ulajh sake
Is baar nahin

Is baar karm ka hawala de kar nahin uthaoonga auzaar
Nahin karoonga phir se ek nayee shuruaat
Nahin banoonga misaal ek karmyogi ki
Nahin aaney doonga zindagi ko aasani se patri par
Utarney doonga usey keechad main,tedhey medhey raston pe
Nahin sookhney doonga deewaron par laga khoon
Halka nahin padney doonga uska rang
Is baar nahin banney doonga usey itna laachaar
Ki paan ki peek aur khoon ka fark hi khatm ho jaye
Is baar nahin

Is baar ghawon ko dekhna hai
Gaur se
Thoda lambe wakt tak
Kuch faisley
Aur uskey baad hausley
Kahin toh shuruat karni hi hogi
Is baar yahi tay kiya hai

... Prasoon Joshi

avishek..

i have always been the apple of ma parent's eye....always did the best..and always made them feel proud....each and every person was very happy with me...ma frnds ma parents...ma sister used to always envy me...but i knew it was just a kiddish thing...
once i remember i was chatting with ma cousin sister over the phone and ma own sister came n threw the phone away....we fought for a while....but somewhere down the line i knew y she did it......
now m gone...something happened...n i just left everybody....i wanted to come bk at one point of time but guessed it was too late...
i am near away from my family....i see them..i try talking to them...
but what the hell.....has the world gone deaf????
i also see something else...
a transition of thoughts about me in my people...from cute to handsome to intelligent to amazing to poor guy to coward to looser...
i am in awe.

peace....please...

The theory of "Pot of Patience" has always been so true for me..though wen i heard about it i was not much aware of it...~one of those golden days when i was with people like D in my life~
patience is coming to an end for me..the huge pot i had is about to overflow..
quite a few days now that i am getting the warning from within and since then i have been trying hard to control the same...
i cant tolerate people...i cant take people dominating me to such an extent that it gets too suffocated for me to even meet them or see them in any form...there is good and bad of everyone...and dont you think its always appreciable when people accept the good and bad things they have..themselves..and not trying to portray that he is always the best and never does wrong...
how do u feel when your thoughts...are being shared and then being represented again back to you in such a way as if you had no clue what the thought was at all in the very first place...to some extent ya i do agree...v all take it...but not your feelings or ideas when even your thoughts get stolen...tats the worst thing one can do to you....
never got the point behind why people has to put up as something which they are not..just for the sake of attention of your beloved or a few more people of opposite sex or may be in general to get attention...
phew...how do people even manage to do such things???and WHY??is the question in my life right now...
past 2 days staying alone after a long time atleast helped me to think and get my mind in place...
and finally the answer i got of all these is just dont listen...ya exactly...dont even give attention to such people...cause i know..if i do...not only will i be all the more frustrated but also my "pot of patience" will overflow...result being the relationship with those people will go for a toss....for sure...
hence...lets follow the Father of our nation and dont listen and see what you dont want to ~bit modified version of the monkeys~ so that we dont land up talking our mind and do the blunder...

so the bottom line is i need some peace in my life and i want to get it myself...i really dont need anyone's help...

back to my real world...!!!

How many times do we think and try to feel each and every cell of our body while we walk???
Try walking….the slowest the best….so slow..tat if anyone sees you from a distance you look nothing but like a statue..and then try observing each and every muscle…each and every cell of your body….trust me its tougher than running the marathon….!!
And then suddenly imagine yourself to be a tap…or a cake or anything…any non-living thing..anything that doesn’t make much of sense in daily life…or perhaps things which we never care thinking of….
How do u think you will look when u r the cage n not inside the cage…
I don’t make any sense….do i???
Well…I exactly know what must be in your mind…”ammu lost it again..!!!”
Went for the workshop…a new theatre group that I have joined…had to do all dese…which initially didn’t make any sense….creativity is there inside all of us….but getting it out is d toughest job..and that is where the director comes in….
Think of 3 people trying to become one single cat….people may call us mad…but we are just trying to do something which makes more sense than just earning money out of theatres…next play we will do is for the blinds…where the actors are gonna be blindfolded….too curious to work in it…lets see how it goes…
Theatre is one of the biggest form of adventure…I felt after the first day..

It was nice going back where I belong to…!!!!!