Mind's Eye

There are things beyond our imagination
Things which changes lives & all notions
Mind, the fucking mind playing games
Games, played by grown ups calling names.
Feel like running someplace & live my life,
As I wanted to...human, I tell you, un-satisfied.

The life where I could travel
People & places,& stories to unravel
Life where I could sit by the sea
And watch the waves go by,
Salt water washing my feet,
Sand & gravel un-doing them yet again!!

The Question!!!!

Since eternity it has been a million dollar question..” what do women want?” today at this stage of my life I would for sure want to ask a similar question to men!!! “ what on earth do you want???”
It all started long time ago..when I first started dating during my school days..now school days being the era of learning, by the end of 10th standard I honestly felt I know all the questions possible regarding guys and their mind.. as time passed and I came across various types and category of men, the idea of unlearning everything I did during school time became more and more evident.
A serious relationship , with everything as perfect as my little mind could have imagined was brought to me in a package named swarnendu moitra, and as the package started to reveal itself, I was left with nothing but awe (initially) and then I started drawing a blank. The blank was filled up again and again, with a few questions answered by every guy that I came across however, as one door closed another door leading to another bunch of new questions arose in front of me.
No exactly..what is it that you want?? Just being friends? Or something more than friends? If something more than friends exactly how you think one should approach you? Flirting is supposed to be desperate, non-flirting is supposed to be dangerous for my own good. Hints??what kinda hints works on whom? Now the kinda hints I could throw on a guy 2 yrs back in Bangalore, is not enough, or rather is taken in a wrong way when I do it now!! If its only intellectual discussion that you want then why not initiate some?? I for one would love to do the same, keeping everything aside.. the types and categories of men in today’s world can be broadly classified under one and only one single group…”Confused” yes..you people are so fucked up in your head that even the very thought of simplifying certain things in your life scares you.. you like the complexities yet you want it to be under cover and crystal clear!!! It doesn’t really work that way darlings!!! You really got to take your brain out and clean it and then put it back.. probably once you are done clearing your own mess, we the ones from the other clan can try to get to the next level with the already little brain that we have. Or else the end of the world is not far!!!

Addiction

slowly yet steadily it gets into you, it starts off with only occasional sessions with friends..then once over the weekend and thus it just starts creeping into your life leading you to the inevitable..
no...none of the excuses you give yourself can justify the cause of your state and nothing on this planet can change the result, other than your own conscience!!
Conscience...what is it anyway??just that inner voice which is fading away as the day passes...the voice that seems like a devil at the hour of need..and then as a angel when you end up having no control of your own actions...

Sudden realization!!!

incidents of life...just goes without any mention in the pages of one's own biography... but then again i wish it was possible at all to save every moment one's life in the small lil transparent starry jar!!!

~sigh~ life is such a beautiful incident...

time passsssssssssssss

The random circles on windows media player…stoned to the core..what else could she have expected !!!
And yeah..to top it all…its ‘into the wild’ playing in the background!!!! :D after 8 months…michelle was taken aback….’actually been a long time now’…thinking…she smiled!!!

after ages...

And here again she is sitting in this house she had no clue existed even a few days bk…and never in her weirdest of imagination did she think its gonna turn out like a place with this kinda aura…its like michelle is back…like a dejavu…
It has been quite some michelle didn’t visit her…neither in her dreams…or hang on..i guess I am wrong..michelle did come a few weeks back..but just for a short while..n then real life nelson just chassed her away…that was another phase of her…
Today its another..its like being there…lived somewhere here…the most weird feeling of belonging!!!is it the red flooring..or the fan…or the piece of bare minimum furniture…whatever it is…it cant be called a happy feeling..its like that sweet nostalgia…the part of which has an after taste of bitter experience..but no matter how bitter it is..the initial shock of sweetness just brings either a faint smile or a drop of tear.

Broken Loop??!!!

They say the most amazing piece of writing comes out when the writer is sad.
I dont know about the amazing part...

They also say when you need to get rid of some kinda feelings or thoughts about someone else.start looking for the negative things that he has...and try to concentrate on those..
I dont know where do i search for them....

For all I know is the beautifully imperfect you is the one i still long for...knowing very well from the very beginning how this amazingly built imaginary world of mine would crash n break into pieces..I am not trying to pick them up..or put it together again...I have just let them be...I cant see clearly right now...moisture in eyes does that at times...

They say I should move ahead in life...like I did earlier too...
I dont know...I could never find the answer for whatever they say...the circle of 'moving on' never started how do i complete it this time?

The circle that never starts...is it still called a circle?? If not...then where do i stand in this is so called 'circle of life'???!!