Tuesday, May 20, 2008

memoirs...

Life has reached a certain point…i at times wonder. Where did it all start from…

Just like any other girl of ma status i had started ma journey…some influence from here n there n I am here today…

Living all alone…initially it was not tat good…but I dont miss not being with someone anymore….

And I am glad about it….at least I don’t find maself crying without any reason..i have a lot of reason to laugh…which I have created maself…I dont know..rather dont wanna know whether these reasons r temporary or permanent…but I am happy n tats all matters to me….

Certain feelings just die away after a certain point of time in life…

It was just another day of ma life…the very morning gave me a hint that the day may not be as normal as I expected it to be…

Watching the view from ma 4 th floor appt is not tat bad at all….i somehow go back to ma childhood days….it was a beautiful place....with amazing people around me…I start walking down the memory lane…there i can see a gal…screaming at the top of her lungs trying to learn the spelling of “mango” and there was someone who continuously irritating her while she is studying…then suddenly I see that gal learning to climb a tree…a coconut tree….and when she looks upwards..she finds that somebody again ahead of her…”uff”….he always irritates her…he is always ahead of her…

its really getting humid here in Mumbai…..wiping ma sweat I try to go back to the past again..

That somebody went somewhere…mom said he has gone to a hostel…she was relieved…finally he is not gonna irritate her…she was alone…studying physics…and she missed that someone...

who is tat somebody??” now that it has been ages…I think hard. How did that person look???who was he exactly???

..ufff..he is back again…this time he is sad….she kinda missed him when he was not at home..perhaps it happens…you land up missing even the most irritating person of ur life also…”he is not that bad after all….”she thinks to herself…

Getting late..need to go to office…

the car is standing in front of her house…has been 6 yrs…they are here to take him away forever….she is trying to keep him back..but they wont listen..they have to take him away forever….

A shiver runs down ma spine…I was kinda stuck to that “someone” I know him really well…I have spent quite some time wit him..i am feeling restless..there was not much of work in office also…I call up my mom..very much unsure..should I ask her about that person…

He came to me tonight…he told me..he was my only friend I ever had…but he had to go…he was my dada…..

Saturday, May 10, 2008

mixed fruit juice...

"versova"
the very first word i uttered since morning.....got to get a rik...getting late for office...these are some of the thoughts which runs...ma granny would have scolded me..."subah subah bhagwan ka naam lo...."
it has been d same for the past 7 months or so....."whats wrong wit ma earphone??" i think to maself....hmmm....ok now...FM 107.1....ma favorite....
random thoughts keeps on coming....i get inside d auto...music louder...."what did rahul actually mean by saying i have killed maself????"
everybody does....each n every person i have known have killed their own selves....i have killed some one else too.....
Al....the RJ sounds really good...i kinda start imagining how he looks...."ammu....u not gonna change eh..."i laughed...ooppss...the driver looks bk.....
work....comes bk 2 ma mind....lots o stuff to do....schemes...politics.....mind games.....phew......but d weird part is i love ma work....or...wait for a sec....do i have any other option???
"what goes around comes around" i start singing loud....rahul wrote certain things about me which i never told him....i miss D at times....a lot...i don't miss rahul at all....but he knows me...i think....too many people in ma life...sometimes i feel...what m i doing wit ma life...ma manager...he reads ma mind...i hate him for tat...i don't like anyone reading ma mind...i do tat to others.....he says i don't have any aim...i dunno what m doing wit maself...he is right...but tats too much o right for me to take at times...i guess....
relationships has always been a pain for me....phew...i hate tis single add on reliance....whats gonna b d next song????......i think about certain people whom i would love 2 fall for...but...........
no...m better tis way....perhaps i cant fall for anyone anymore....certain people i would also love to kick outta ma life...but d worst part is i cant b rude 2 them.....
what d fuck can i ever do in ma life????
"bhaiya....aage cut se right lena..."